Tonight, I'm just in a bad mood. No reason, I'm just grumpy. I'm grumpy because I just got all my pills out that I take every night, and it feels like too much effort, which sounds incredibly stupid because really, it doesn't take any effort at all to swallow a bunch of pills. But it feels like it's going to take all the effort in the world because most 21 year olds aren't taking like 6 pills before they go to bed. They aren't supplementing because they have shit ass bones and bodies and just everything ruined from years of an eating disorder. I'm just cranky. I'm just cranky because this is my life and I'm tired of it. Not in the suicidal kind of way, but just in the way of, I'm 21 and this is what I've done to myself.
I start work next Wednesday. I'm excited.
I'm still going to school. I'm beyond excited.
But for now, I am just going to force myself to take these pills, cuddle up in bed with cabenson bear (lol what?), watch old school ER and go to bed.
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