Where am I at these days? Somewhere in the middle, I like to believe anyways. I don't know, I feel ridiculous saying it, but I sort of just like gave up when I got home from New York and when things got tough. And like that's really what always happens. Things get hard, reality hits me, and I just decide to stop fighting. Like, I went out for lunch today with a friend who said it so well. Getting better and being better - I know I can do that here and there. And it's right, being better and being healthy and being the person I'm supposed to be - I know that I can do that in New York. I know HOW to do that in New York. And like, then I come home, I'm forced back into a reality that I don't want and somehow I tell myself that I don't know how to do it here.
The thing is, I know how to do it here. If I can do it in New York, that has to mean I can do it here, I'm just choosing to not, or ... not trying hard enough? Maybe? I don't know. Things are so much more on track now than they were when 2011 came to a close and when this year first started. We're only a few weeks in, but I feel like I've got a better grip on things right now than I did when the year started. It was like, I knew what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be and how to get there. It's like, I knew the way and yet I was still so incredibly lost, if that makes any sense. Like that quote "Have you ever been so lost? Known the way and still so lost?"
School is going really well right now. I'm sitting at a 99.3% average for my biology which I'm extremely thrilled with. I have to sign up for Grade 11 Chemistry and then of course, do grade 12. I'm hoping to be done with high school in the middle of march, if not the end.
I guess that's all there is to update? I don't know. I feel like I lead a very boring life, but I guess I'm okay with that.
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