don't slide

And once again, school is up in the air. When I did the original estimation for student aid they predicted a larger chunk of money than I had been expecting. While I know original estimations are based on minimal information and often are a couple of hundred dollars above what you actually get, I wasn't expecting the original estimation to be a couple THOUSANDS of dollars above what they are estimating now with all the in depth information.

They predict now half of what they originally predicted, which puts me in a predicament. (See what I did there?). While 60% of that aid is released in the first semester, I don't think its enough to cover tuition and student fees, without including the cost of commuting to school as well as textbooks. When I originally set on returning to school in the fall, I made sure my parents/family knew that I would be doing this on my own from them, financially wise, and that's really how I intend to do it. Which means, school may not be a possibility anymore. 60% of the aid would be pushing it to make it in payments because it leaves me in a lurch if I haven't found a job (which I'm still searching for and waiting to hear back from the movie place). Which makes me nervous. And the thing is, what they estimate now could be higher than what I am actually going to get.

Discouraged. I feel pretty discouraged about it. It makes me upset to know that come next month, I may not be in school YET again. But, I'm trying to remind myself that if that is the case, there is still January, and going back in January is better than taking ANOTHER year off. It's just, from this point, five months. And that feels like forever right now, does it ever, but it also gives me something to work towards. Because with student aid and any income from working, I could make it happen. It would be hard, and money would probably be really tight, but it is a possibility.

37 days until K comes from the UK and I can hardly, hardly, hardly wait.